Lena screamed. Klaus smiled. He handed her a fresh sausage and whispered, “You see, united pigs don’t make films. We make events . And this event is called: ‘The Producer Who Thought She Could Cage the Swine.’”

Klaus agreed. He cashed the check. Then he bought five times as much pork.

The catch? She wanted to clean them up. Hire real actors. CGI the pig heads. Smooth the edges into a “gritty, accessible arthouse thriller.”