College Stories. My Girlfriend Is Too Naive--- Free May 2026

I used to try to fix her. I’d grab her arm when she tried to give her spare change to the guy selling “university-branded” umbrellas out of a van. I’d whisper, “He’s not affiliated with the school, Em. That’s a felony.” She’d just smile and say, “Or maybe he’s an entrepreneur!”

“You know,” she said quietly, “I’m not naïve because I don’t know how the world works. I’m naïve because I know exactly how it works, and I’ve decided it’s too exhausting to live like that.” College Stories. My Girlfriend Is Too Naive--- Free

My girlfriend, Emily, is too naïve for college. And I mean that with every ounce of love and terror in my heart. I used to try to fix her

I stared at her.

And then she said something that broke my brain. That’s a felony

I was hooked immediately.

She is a political science major who believes that every politician is “trying their best.” She once wrote a five-page paper arguing that negative attack ads should be illegal because they hurt people’s feelings. Her professor gave her a C+ and wrote “Bless your heart” in the margin. She framed it.