He unplugged the router. Counted to ten. Plugged it back in. The lights blinked once—a desperate gasp—then returned to black. The device was bricked. Dead. A 3.7 MB coffin.

“Version 2.1.6 → 2.4.0,” the screen read. Patch notes: Security enhancements, stability fixes, and improved IPv6 support.

“It’s the firmware,” he muttered, wiping sleep from his eyes. He’d ignored the “Update Available” notification for 147 days. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, he’d thought. But now, it was broke.